Forgiving those who tried to destroy you

“To err is human, to forgive is divine”.

This is an old proverb, passed down through the years. The meaning still remains the same. It is human nature to make mistakes but to forgive someone of those mistakes can sometimes be a really hard thing to do. However, no matter how hard it can be, you can still do it with a lot of willpower and strength.

I’ve been speaking to a lot of people recently who find it hard to forgive someone who has hurt them. I just thought I should write a short post addressing the subject.

People do bad things. Fact. Nobody can stop this from happening. It’s just the way it is. I do bad things. I’m human after all. There comes a point though, when we have been through so much that we need to let it go. You should never hold onto something that will essentially destroy you in the end. It’s taken me a long time to say that to myself. It would be so easy for me to think about what my ex did to me and smash the house up, or even go to where he lives and cause a scene, demanding that he repent himself for what he did but there is no point. He wouldn’t admit it before and he won’t admit it now. Not without trying to convince me that he was justified in his actions.

Therefore I have no other option than to accept that bad things happen and to move on. Don’t get me wrong, he’s the last person I would like to encounter but if I ever did bump into him, I know now that I wouldn’t rip his face off and feed it to him, which was my initial plan.  You have to forgive in order to move on. You can’t live with the rage bubbling inside like a volcano waiting to erupt. You must believe in karma and that karma will do its work. Don’t sit hatching revenge plans because that’s not good karma for you. Don’t lower yourself to be one of the people who hurt you in the first place. I say this from experience. Believe it or not, I forgive my ex-boyfriend. I forgive him for pushing me to the brink of a breakdown. I forgive him for cheating on me numerous times. I forgive him for being a liar, a cheat, horrible and selfish. I forgive him for all of these things.

In this particular case, he will always be the same person that he has always been. For example, telling me after we have broken up that he is changing and has deleted the gay apps/websites in order to convince me that he’s now human again but then me finding his profile online, still active, is indicative to the way he still is. I don’t need someone like that in my life. Just like you don’t need that person in your life that made you feel down and trapped. We forgive to move on, not to keep going over the same anger in our minds. Transform it. Use it! I’m using mine. I’m taking every single thing that he ever did to me and I am turning it around to make my life better and to help others. So for that, I sincerely thank you, dear ex-boyfriend. I have no doubt that one day he will be shown this and will probably hit the roof. That of course is up to him. My task still remains clear to me: To press on and make a difference.

Point of this post: If there’s something that’s eating you up inside, learn from it and try to utilize it to your own advantage. You must also forgive, in order to continue with your life.

Click here for the next instalment.

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