As a gay man, it is my duty to read, whenever put near me, any copy of a glossy magazine that I can get my hands on. Cosmopolitan, Elle, Vogue, Heat, anything. You may sit there and laugh at how much of a stereotype that makes me. Indeed, there is a lot of rubbish in there sometimes, however, from time to time, I come across the odd gem. Last weekend, I picked up a copy of Elle magazine to read in the car on the way to Derbyshire. Cheryl Cole was on the cover. I flicked through the usual 3000 adverts before getting to the diamond hidden within.
It would be easy to not like someone like Cheryl Cole. She is not the best singer in the world, nor is she the most interesting. A lot of people are quick to jump on the bandwagon of slating celebrities like her. What they don’t realise is that with this woman in particular, she has also been through that mill and back that we all know only too well. Within the space of 2 years, she was cheated on publicly humiliated when the kiss and tell stories emerged, she had a bitter divorce, a bad bout of malaria which nearly killed her, along with the constant press coverage of her personal life and her very public dismissal from the X-Factor USA. It’s enough to finish someone off. Indeed, it nearly did. She admits herself that she left the spotlight as she feared for her mental health. The constant pressure on her was dragging her down. She took a step back, held her hands up and said
The thing that struck a chord with me the most about her interview was her creation of her ‘f**k It List”. You may be familiar with ‘The Bucket List’, a list created to a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime. Great! Right? Wrong! (In mine and Cheryl’s opinion anyway). I had a bucket list once. It had the usual things on it; steady job, money, health, go to China, Learn Chinese, get married before the age of 30, get a car and stuff like that. I took a look at it one day and decided that I was looking for something more exciting! Since then, I’ve created my own F**k It List:
In my own, personal opinion, my F**k It list is a list of stuff that I should already be doing mixed in with some things that I have always wanted to do. Rather than writing any old list, losing it in my house and never doing anything on it, I am trying every day to do something off it. That’s the difference. There’s no room for hesitation here. I am and will do everything on this list before creating a new one. Why sit around and wait for the opportunities to come your way when you have a whole world of options right in front of you. Life doesn’t hand you everything on a silver platter. You have to go out there and do it for yourself. If you refer to earlier on in the post, I said I was looking for something more exciting. To me, personally, as I had such a low level of confidence or appreciation of myself, learning to love again, laugh, help others, forgive others, etc, is actually really exciting for me. I am in a position where I have cut out all of the BS from my life and I can do anything I want. I can finally relax and go anywhere I want or do anything I want without worrying that someone is going to slate me for it when I get home. I am so excited by the fact that I can buy new clothes for myself now that I’m 5 stone lighter! I bounce around the house when I’m doing the housework, singing to the radio at the top of my voice.
I can do this because I have held my hands up, stared the BS right in the face and said “F**k It!”
We should all have a ‘F**k It’ list. You don’t need to have anything on there that requires you to trek through the Himalayas, barefoot, eating muesli out of an organic canvas bowl, singing Kumbaya, but if that’s what you want to do then do it! That’s the beauty of this list. You can do anything that you want! You may write on your list that you want to clear the cupboard out from under the stairs, or chew with your mouth closed (which you should anyway, let’s be honest!). No matter how big or small your list is, it all matters to you.
Do as Cheryl did, do as I did; look at all of that BS that has been coming your way, no matter how big or small, get out a pen and paper, write down everything you want to do. Start to do those things on your list. Don’t just talk about it. Hold your hands up and shout
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